Gregg Jefferies > Mark Grace + Sid Bream + Jessie Barfield + Jesse Orosco - Kevin Mitchell + Ricky Henderson x Mike Stanley + Chris Sabo

Since you will all be deprived of a Thursday afternoon entry, I decided to give you some Thursday AM reading, Wednesday night. Word.

So, to start things off, I called the d8k after he left me a message, and what happens? I got a BUSY signal. I was in shock. I almost dropped my phone. I almost choked on the air in my lungs. I almost fainted. A busy signal. The last time I got a busy signal (not including Ticketmaster) was back when Nirvana was tearing up the charts, "Studs" was the late night controversial show (wow, so much has changed), Bill and Ted just started their first of 2 blockbuster movies and Gregg Jefferies was snubbed by Mark Grace for first base in the all-star game. I am actually still in shock at the moment, but I'll get over it. A busy signal.

Anyway, enough of that. Speaking of the overrated Mark Grace, he was espn.com's trivia question today. Wonderful. I am waiting for Jessie Barfield, Alvaro Espinosa and Kevin McRynolds get their due. If I can reminisce for a moment - I had a shirt, one of the "big headed" shirts back in the early 90's that all kids would wear. You know, the cartoon body and huge head that had elaborate writing on it. Out of all the things that are coming back as "old school" traditions, I am shocked these are still in the shitter. I had a Kevin McRynolds, David Cone and Gregg Jefferies big head shirt. Wonderful. Not as good as my adult XL Mets Cone t-shirt jersey when I was 9. And to this day, I am still pissed at my mother for not letting me get the Gregg Jefferies t-shirt jersey because it was 'too big.' XL and XXL when I am 9 - there is no difference. So upset. Back to old school shirts.

Those were some good ones, as was my Denver Broncos poster of John Mobley (next to B-Dawk, M-Lew, DMC, TO, The Truck, etc... all eagles... he is/was my favorite player), Terrell Davis, Shannon Sharpe and John Elway. Clutch. Right next to that poster was a Tim Biankabatuka Carolina Pathers poster (I also have his jersey, proper). Right below that was a Mario Lemieux, Ron Francis and Jarmoir Jagr poster, which was money, since that year they came in 1st,5th and 2nd in the scoring race, which, to this day, I still find remarkable. I also had a Paul Kariya, numerous Lemieux posters, and my pride and joy, a poster of The Stanley Cup (wonder why my cat is named Stanley). If you are still on the fact that I do own a Tim Biankabatuka jersey, know this, I also own an authentic 'Neon' Deion Sanders Falcons jersey and a black Elway jersey. I don't mess around. I keep it real. Mother fucking real. Oh and to prove that I KIR (MFR), I never owned a baseball jersey, owned numerous hockey jerseys (about 4 Lemieux's, Jagr, Kariya, U of Maine, SJ Sharks (for my favorite all-time hockey player, Bob Errey), and an Edmonton Oilers), numerous football jerseys and 1 basketball jersey. I owned an authentic Phoenix Suns Barkley jersey. I rest my case, and you now know how cool I was, and how cool I must be at this moment.

Wow, those were the days, back when I collected baseball cards, found the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition comparable to Playboy and slept in a sleeping bag because I was superstitious (I slept in that thing until I was 18 and left for college... I swear, I am too superstitious).

I do have a story of when I kept it real and in turn, the FBI showed up at my door (I'm serious). Then, there was this time that I almost burned down my house because I lit a low margin (I sold, or traded, firecrackers for baseball cards when I was younger) firecracker and it jumped into my garage and started a huge fire. I initially tried to put it out with a glass of water, then I got the hose. Those were the days, and those stories will come, but not now.

Oh, and back to the busy signal, THAT is keepin it real.

7 Wonders of the Day

1. I managed to do nothing today. Ok, maybe 10 minutes of work, but basically nothing. Next will be 'busy' since I need to close the books, and since I did nothing this week, I will be busy since I need to write my whoe "documentation" book. Fun times. Proper.

2. Tomorrow, the NHL lockout will end (or at least a deal will be struck and sent for ratification).

3. I am waiting for a downpour today. I would like to run in the rain and pretend I am running away from a hurricane. Much cooler than you think.

4. March of the Penguins starts this Friday in Boston. I will be seeing this.

5. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm/Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm/Once there was a kid who/Got into an accident and couldn't come to school/But when he finally came back/His hair had turned from black into bright white/He said that it was from when/The cars had smashed him so hard

6. Saved by the Bell classic episode yesterday morning. It was when Jesse is hooked on caffeine. Fantastic episode, and quite frankley, Spano deserved an Emmy.

7. Fine point > Ball point. Mechanical pencils > Lead pencils. Spiral notebooks > 3 ring binders. 12in ruler > yardstick.

Not Keepin' It Real

First off, there is a huge difference between "Not Keepin' It Real" (NKIR) and "When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong" (WKIRGW). When someone is NKIR, they were not trying to KIR in the first place, while WKIRGW, the subject was trying to KIR, but it just took a turn for the worse.

That said, I click on CNN and see this:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The National Academy of Sciences is proceeding with publication of a study outlining how terrorists could contaminate the U.S. milk supply with botulism -- despite complaints that the article is a "road map for terrorists."

This is not cool, and in turn, NKIR. Cereal will never be the same. I cannot enjoy mt Total Raisin Bran, nor can I enjoy my Corn Pops to the fullest. Protein shakes will be watered down, and oatmeal will be as firm. It is a sad, sad day, when people start targeting our fucking milk supply.