Oh...My...God...

So, I was having a conversation with myself while at the gym. Usually, when I am at the gym, my headphones separate me from the real world and put me into what I call, "KIR World." Anyway, as I was in KIR World, I was checking out the usual gym "Chicas" that roam around. Not so bad, but hey, nothing great. Anyway, this is why I am writing what I am writing. For maybe, the third day in a row, I have compared a girl to... Big Bird. 3 days in a row. Is this normal?

So, as I think about this, I must say, "Why do I compare girls to big bird?" Well, don't worry, I do not find Big Bird attractive. No. I think it is because of 2 reasons. These girls have large eyes and/or very long necks. But for some reason, the long neck girls I don't compare to a giraffe, but to Big Bird. I am sorry to the giraffe. The giraffe is a great mammal, but I must say, comparing girls to Big Bird is more descriptive and appropriate. Big Bird can talk, giraffe's can't. Big bird walks on 2 feet. Giraffe's have 4 legs. Big Bird eats normal food, I think. Giraffe's eat tree branches. TREE BRANCHES. So, glad I cleared that up...

So, Thursday, I compared Runaway Bride Wilbanks to Big Bird. Don't tell me she doesn't look like the Bird, she does. And how the hell is she a national celebrity? That freak ran away from her husband and went to NEW MEXICO! Fucking NEW MEXICO. I don't even recognize that as a state anymore. Ok, so, Friday, there was this chick who had these Wilbank's bug eyes as well, and she was a Big Bird candidate. However, today, while at the gym, there was this very weird looking girl who I could not tell if she was hot or not. Anyway, she IS Big Bird. She has the long bird-like neck, the same eyes are the Bird - all she is missing are the feathers.