Wednesday, May 25, 2005

GUTS! Do you have it?!


So, I get home in time for GUTS! again today. This show is insane. It is the most senseless show ever, but I love it. The nicknames (which as many of you know by now - I NEED ONE) are what make this show. That, and the fact that the announcer says "Mo!" about every four seconds.

"Mo! Let's see the leader board, MO!" Ridiculous.

Anyway, I was listening to "MO!" announce the rules for bungee basketball. You guys probably know the rules without needing an explanation, but here it is. Put the ball in the hoop. But MO! has a better explanation in her awful accent.

"The rules of the game as simple. Each player much jump from the platform, hit the ground and shoot the ball in the basketball hoop. Only balls that make it through the hoop will be counted. The player with the most balls through the hoop at the end of the allotted time will win."

Seriously, the ball has to go IN the hoop? Shit, I though I could beat by shooting the most airballs.

Anyway, back to the nicknames. I am a fan of nicknames, but these 12 year old contestants have the BEST nicknames know to man. I saw one guy the other day that went as, "The Grassy Knoll." Huh? What? Is he deceptive on the playground and an assassin at night? I need to start writing these down because not all of them stick in your head like, "The Grassy Knoll."

I Must Be Dirty...

Well, first things first, no progress on the nickname front. If I change my name and want to represent Boston, I could first, change my name to Brian Bellows (get the hockey thing going) and be "The Boston Beatdown Brawler" Brian Bellows. However, if I wanted to 'resent Jersey, I could be "The Jersey Janitor" Jimmy Jackson. Anyway, I am leaning towards "The Hard Worker" since that is what I am at my job.
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Ok, the soap in the mens room was pink, now it is orange. No problem. I read the label on the dispenser because I thought the soap felt rough. Of course, the name of the soap is "Orange Ruffy." It has 'abrasive scrubbers' to thouroughly clean your hands. Problem. It smells like shit orange. Problem. Not a problem if I just finished painting a house, but I just took a piss. I do not need abrasive materials in my soap after I piss. I am not that dirty. I am in an office typing, not working with spackel. I need to find a complaint box.
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I woke up tired today. I had a bad shave this morning. I was cut off 4 times on my way into work on the slick roads. My coffee was sub par. My day got off to a bad start. Plus, I need to finish up a project this PM, which, if I work 100%, it will take me no more than 2 hours. So, 1-3, then my day is complete.
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My roommates day yesterday consisted of the following:
1. watch tv
2. eat breakfast
3. watch tv
4. eat lunh
5. watch tv
6. eat dinner
7. watch tv
8. sleep

Notice that there is no "work" in that list. Sad. Sad that I called in sick, but this is what he does when he doesn't go into work because he is on 'vacation.' The cockroach behind the kitchen sink in downtown Roxbury has a better future ahead of him (or her). Hey, chances are that cockroach will at least reproduce and yield some offspring
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My week of being nice ended. I am back to ranting. Sorry.