Now, before you go ahead and read this, I must say a word or 2. I just had Total Raisin Bran the other day and I am hooked. I think the crunchy flakes add a better eating experience, not to mention the absurd amount of raisins they put in every box. They are very thoughtful at Total Raisin Bran headquarters. So, that said, they have a place in my heart, and I had to edit some of this to reflect that. Most of you will never know, but those that have read this may be annoyed and view me as a hypocrite, flip-flopper, or just an ass.
Also, Corn Pops...What can I say? They upped the ante to a new level. I bought a box and made SURE I got the prize. A light saber spoon... Seriously. Amazing. I think you all should go out and buy some.
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Ok, I am a big fan of Cracklin' Oat Bran ("COB"); the only problem is price/pound (something that you must look at when shopping for cereal) and the unhealthy-ness of it. It is pretty fattening per serving, something I am not too terribly concerned with, but I can eat a whole box of cereal for breakfast, lunch, dinner and for a snack here and there. So, taking that into consideration, COB lost a lot of momentum. Cheerios are good, but add the Honey mix into that, and you got yourself a winner. The only downside of Honey Nut Cheerios (HNC) is that if you eat a decent amount of them, the aftertaste can get to you. As for Cheerios (CHE), they are good all around, but your mouth becomes very dry, which, in turn, requires a good and satisfying refreshment. Frosted Flakes you may be wondering, are good as well, but you always get a box with defective flakes... It's like the time in third grade when I had a Doritos and it must have had a "chip bubble" on it that contained this cheese powder... Never forget that moment, much like I will never forget a bad flake in a bowl of frosted flakes. Honey Crunch flakes, on the other hand, there you go, winner. Good all around taste...light, but not too light. Goes perfect with any type of milk, as well as with nothing. And good value for a box as well. Raisin Bran, an all time favorite. Good, quality cereal, which you can have anywhere, but with milk. Always tastes better with heavier milk, and since I am a skim or 1% guy, Kind of can taste watered down. But 2% with it, and you're money. Raisin Bran Crunch...winner, again. And it goes fine with 1% or skim, which is a bonus. As for the Honey Bunches of Oats (HBO) brands, well, taste wise, delicious, but value wise, awful. I don't want to go into the supermarket with a mindset of, "I'll spend my bonus money on a family value 3 pack of HBO's." Just a waste of hard earned money, but, sometimes you get lucky. Take last month, when CVS ran a 2 for 1 on them - that is when you stock up on the regular or almond variety and save them for a rainy day. You beat the system, and it is time to celebrate. More will come on others such as Corn Pops (my favorite, and will explain why), froot loops, fruity pebbles, apple jacks (what about those commercials?) and others.
So, as for the remaining cereals on the shelves in the supermarket -do yourself a favor and forget the generic brands, and most of all, forget about the bagged cereal. However, I will admit, the bagged version of Honey Smacks (something I was not allowed to have when I was younger because there was so much sugar in them - go figure, but frosted flakes are good), are great. So, those cereals are gone, and now you are left with some decent contenders going for gold and just waiting to be put in your shopping cart (or, in my situation, the basket - that is how I limit myself to 2 boxes a trip... cannot fit much more than a 1/2 gallon of milk and 2 boxes of cereal in it).Alright, starting from left to right, you have your healthily, and girly, if I must admit, Special K. Special K goes under the radar, and even though it has the worst Melrose Place actress (I think...) on the box, I still enjoy the slightly sweet and light taste, but for a meal, no way... too light. And lose 2 lbs in a week? I'll eat 3 boxes of that just for a snack. Add those dried Strawberries that people are disgusted with, and you got yourself a winner. I do not like how it ruins the milk though, which is something scientists in the Special K laboratory need to work on. Ok, staying on the healthy side of things, lets move to Wheaties. Good, not great, very plain, but 2 words -Collectors Edition. Any box of cereal that MAY appreciate in value is enough for me to have my eyes glance over. Total - and Total Raisin Bran - both very good and healthy. I prefer these over Raisin Bran for 2 reasons. One, the taste, and 2, I'd rather have Total and live longer to enjoy more cereal. As for the healthy stuff that tastes good too, well, that is all I can really talk to. Now, the fun stuff. I must say, that I do not like Chocolate, so none of the Chocolate cereals made the cut, sorry. Let's start off with the cereal, when you say, "I had a bowl of xxx" the response is always, ALWAYS, "No, I did not separate the marshmallows." Yes, Lucky Charms. Everyone enjoys a bowl of Lucky Charms, the only downside is that you don't buy them because (no, I won't say they jip on nutritional ingredients) they have significantly reduced the number marshmallows per spoonful year after year. With that said, I will not dedicate $4.00 for a box of crispy rice grains. When they can increase the marshmallow count, I'll be back, but for now, I am glancing over the box, unless, unless it is on sale, or they contain some form of special edition marshmallows. And, again, I promise, more to come
including Corn Pops... and why they are my favorite... Froot Loops, Apple Jacks and other.
Ok, for my last section, I will reveal the top 5 cereals, as well as some more that just missed the cut, and some very big disappointments. First of all, how can frosted flakes come in with such a strong cereal, and then fail miserably on a cinnamon version? That is what they did with cinnamon kripsers (or something to that extent). It is not even worth me memorizing the name because they are that bad. The flakes hold no strength, the cinnamon is either too strong or just bad, and they become instantly soggy. Poor. Cinnamon life. Poor again. Just doesn't have the "uhmph" to make it in this tough list. It lacks the kick of cinnamon, but the squares are great. They hold consistency and it could be better, but if it were, we'd sue them for trying to copy cinnamon toast crunch (which, despite a high price/pound, make it to the top 5). More to come on CTC later, but now, another failure. Waffle Crisps. Boo. Who even tried this? I got sick after I raided my neighbors mailboxes for the free samples back when I was 12 and I under appreciated cereal.
For those that just missed the cut, I am sorry. I am sorry, (FROSTED) Mini Wheat's, but you don't cut it. I love you, I really do, but you lack a key factor in cereal eating, cereal/spoonful. Ok, I hear you now - "you may only fit one or two on a spoon, but they are big! Please put them in the top 5!" No, I won't. I like to pour a bowl of cereal and see a massive amount of flakes. I do not like to pour a bowl of cereal and see 16 huge logs of frosted mini wheats. Cheap, good, healthy, can eat them by the handful or with milk... but sorry, just missed the cut, and I mean, just missed the cut...you were #6.
#7 - Fruity Pebbles. No, they are not Froot Loops (because if they were, wouldn't they be called, "frooty pebbles?") but they are damn close. The cereal/spoonful is wonderful, but the taste is too fruity. Milk is a must, because you cannot eat a handful without dropping a minimum of 3 on the floor. If they included a miniature dust buster they may have made it to the top 5, but at least they made it above Froot Loops.
#8 - Froot Loops. I am not sure if the Loops came before the pebbles, but in my mind they did. You can eat by the handful, or by the spoonful, but I cut these guys out of the top 5 and behind the Pebbles for 2 reasons. One, they cut their ad and marketing campaign. That is a sign of weakness. And #2, I believe the Pebbles came first and the Loops are just mimicking them. I am not a sucker. Now, for the top 5, and in a particular order (I hate it when there is a list in "no particular order"):
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#5A- You know that kid in elementary school that became popular once they hit high school, or the loser in high school that is now a multimillionaire, that is the next cereal. It gets no recognition, it is hidden on store shelves due to a poor box design, but, despite all of that, it is Kid Tested and Mother Approved. Yes, Kix made it in the top 5 for multiple reasons. This cereal can be munched on via the handful or the spoonful. Yes, you know what, you may drop a few when you throw them into your mouth, but unlike fruity pebbles, you not only know how many you dropped, you know where they land and can see them roll off under the couch. With milk, they taste just as good, they fill you up after a decent size portion, and they are good for you. Mom won't yell at you for eating them, because she "approves" of them. I know this is a sleeper and I will get a lot of complaints, but most of us have never had Kix... We just laugh at the silly, yet joyful commercials. This is a hidden jewel that I am proud to showoff. Maybe with the increased revenue when you go out and by them now, they will be able to make a cinnamon version.
#5B -Total Raisin Bran - Ok, I caved, top 6. I had to add this in because it does the best job of filling someone up with such a small portion. Raisin Bran hit shoppers like Ike hitting Tina with their ad campaign of "Two Scoops." Who the heck knows how big their scoops are. Total Raisin Bran has, now this is my own estimate, 35% more raisins. My scoop size is a spoon, but the scoop the character on the box of Raisin Bran looks like the shovel I used to dig holes in the beach when I was 8. If that is the case, Total Raisin Bran's scoop (by the way, they are too classy to have a charecter as a logo) is the new CAT backhow. This is a secret I share with only a small audience, but I will let you know. If you add a packet of Sweet 'n Low onto a bowl of TRB, you have a delicious meal. BUT, you can also have them without the secret ingredient. Good source of fiber and fills you up better than any other cereal on this list. Word.
#4 - Honey Crunch Corn Flakes. These hit the spot. One of the only "Flake" cereals you can eat right out of the box without getting your mouth too dry. Perfect ratio of Flake texture:honey-goodness. Great with all kinds of milk. The flakes are so perfect that you can get a great spoonful and enjoy. What is even better is how disappointing its sister, Frosted Flakes, is. This cereal is everything right about a Flake cereal and it learned it from its sister. Great all around, and congrats, you are #4.
#3 - Apple Jacks - Remember the commercials? Where did they go? I believe the slogan was a weak, yet true one - Why do we love Apple Jacks? I don't know, we just do. Now, why do I love Apple Jacks? Because it is a cereal I can crunch on while working on the computer, playing a game of Madden 2005 or while I am watching TV. The crunching will not affect my hearing, so I do not have to alter my biting of the jacks so I can hear who made the top 3 in American Idol. I can just chew my cereal the right way without worrying. And with milk!? Wow. Money. You add some milk to a good size bowl and you got a great dinner. The amount you can fit onto a large spoon is among the best, and the residual milk left over is fantastic. They have some of the best cereal box games you can find, and the price/pound is among the best for a family size box. So, why do I love apple jacks? Well, I love them so much that a 30 second commercial won't due it justice.
#2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch - You've heard me mention this numerous times. You've heard the good, the bad, the ugly... This cereal is topnotch. It could've been the best, but for some reason, the researches use the top of the line cinnamon sugar, which knocks the price up, and knocks the cereal to #2. Now, that said, I would never opt for anything else than the current cinnamon sugar that they use. It is the best out of all cereals. This cereal, albeit messy when done, is fantastic by the hand. You can do it, it isn't impossible, but just make sure you have a wet nap next to you. With milk, it holds its flavor and crispiness for a decent about of time. The bad is the price/pound. It is steep, but it is worth it. Most cereals are not worth the extra dollar fifty, but this one is. This may have been a cereal that my mother was reluctant to buy me all the time when I was younger, but look at me now. I live on my own, I buy my own food, and I have my cabinets stocked with CTC!!! AND IT IS NOT THE 75% REDUCED SUGAR VERSION EITHER!
#1. Corn Pops - Gotta get my pops. Love them. I eat more Corn Pops per week versus the rest of America (and maybe even Canada) combined. This cereal is the best to eat with your hands because no wet nap is needed, and the bright yellow color allows you to see where you may have dropped any. The X factor with Corn Pops is this: When you reach into the bag to grab a handful of any cereal, you have no control over what falls out of your hands, but with Corn Pops, you do. They are slightly sticky, so you always have control over them, but your hands are never overly sticky. Oh what I would pay to shake a developer of Corn Pops' hands right now. I love these. Now, with milk, dont plan to get your fix with just one bowl, you need at least 2. These are so addictive, that if Courtney Love had a bowl, her drug habit would be replaced with a die hard love of the CPs. I have been eating the CPs for years now and they have never moved off my list. Yes, cereals in the top 8 or so have swung up and down, but CP has always stayed close to my heart. I love you, Corn Pops inventor.
