Some Use Candy, Some Use Force. He. He uses The Foosball.

You always remember "that guy." No, not that asshole in the bar, but that creepy guy in the bar. The one that always makes you say, "he is a child molester." You know, that guy.

Anyway, a while back ago I was at this bar having brunch and noticed a fool teaching these young (young, meaning under 20) kids foosball. It was a class session. He had a notebook. He had a fountain pen (well, I'm not quite sure, but it makes the story better), and he was there every week teaching young kids. I thought it was odd. Like the number 1. That shit is so prime and odd, as was the guy.

So, somehow I got wind of an email Alex had sent out that described the same guy that he noticed. We put 2 and 2 together and realized it was the same guy and thought it was so obscure that he was teaching kids how to play foosball in a bar environment. If we happened to be at a rec center, I'm sure I would've been cool with it, but at a bar?

Last night, we head down to said bar, and chill. Then, out of the blue we start ramblin' on about this wack-job guy. And yes, we were sort of loud, but not obnoxious loud. As we start ripping on this guy and our experiences of watching him lure his prey, Alex says, nonchalantly I may add, "Hey isn't that him over there?" At the same time, James and I look back, and indeed, it is. He has two prey. It was like watching a cheetah go after its prey. I was mesmerized. We start laughing and then notice he could've easily have been listening to us rip on a professor at a well known college that helps kids play foosball in the bar setting.

I needed more info. I couldn't let this go. So, I ask our waitress what he deal was. He creeps everyone out and he hosted the "worlds only" foosball tourny. First of all, that is BS, there is no way he hosted the worlds ONLY tourney. Also, he owns all of the tables at the bar. It's like it is too creepy for him to ask underage men to his apartment to play foosball, so he makes a deal with bars to have them hold his foosball tables... Odd.

As we get more and more into ripping on this guy, she said the staff compares him to Michael Jackson. Correct. I agree. However, he does not have the plastic surgery at MJ did. But that got me thinking. Comparing one to MJ is awful. I mean, if you compare someone to Kobe Bryant, a rapist (although acquitted), but he is a great basketball player. Bill Gates? A geek, but rich. MJ? There is nothing positive about it. Rich? No, he spent it all on his legal team to defend him against accusation after accusation. If you compare someone to MJ, there is nothing more insulting. So, we have an MJ at the bar playing foosball.

On my last study of the night, he was in a heated game with a guy (surprised?). As he scored to go up in the game, he took the goal counter and whipped it from right to left and walked away. That is excessive celebration. Excessive, bitch. If he threw the foosball at the kid, that would've been better, but he cannot injure his prey. I thought that his celebration got out of control, but that could've been the alcohol speaking on his behalf.

Oh yeah, one more piece. He is a crack dealer. Alex, while on his way out of the bathroom, overheard him a while back offering these youngsters a place to by crack. Not pot, crack. And he showed them how to use a butane lighter... Crack guys, crack.

I will study more next week, and make sure we get the same waitress, because this guy knows we are watching, and we may take a stab at convincing the waitress we are cops and are investigating this guy. That would make this story even better. Why? Because there is a good chance we'll be the ones getting arrested after we tell her we are cops.